So busy with exciting updates!

I am so busy behind the scenes preparing for even more relevant articles and a "top Q&A" section where I'll take the most common issues and share the common answers you find in wedding books, wedding magazines, and wedding websites. Then we will share The First Dance perspective.

The beauty of our perspective is that we speak in what one couple called, "uncommonly common sense." Once you hear what we have to say it makes complete sense! And once you learn the patterns, you become your OWN expert. We aren't claiming to know everything and solve everything - that's your job. We are here, however, to help ground you in what is going on at the 100 foot level and help you see where you might want to change course.

I have to say creating The First Dance program and book has been fascinating. I can not look at any wedding related stress question the same. Our principles are just so grounded in how the world works and how problems arise. Our message is one of prevention, perspective and pattern changing when things have gone awry. I often want to shout at people who answer questions without seeing the REAL problem.

A quick example - "My friend is getting married a year after me and we both fell in love with the same dress. She just bought it and told me that I have to find a new one. I really want the dress and am getting married before her. How do I deal with this situation?"

Typical responses involve trying to find a similar dress in a different style, trying to convince her that you won't have the same guests so it's OK to be in the same dress, and of course no matter what you say, be careful how you communicate with her.

The First Dance response: The friends demand is the problem here, not the dress. It's called overstepping boundaries and that is where you have to communicate with her. The dress isn't the issue. The fact that she made a demand of you on something that she has no real control over is the troubling part of this. Watch http://www.TheFirstDance.com for the rest of our perspective on this situation -- coming soon.

In honor of Jenna Bush

We bring our family clans together for our weddings - for better or worse. Imagine bringing those clans together under intense media scrutiny. Yes, our Presidents daughter, Jenna, is engaged, making front page cnn news!

If you were the presidents daughter would you wait until after his presidency was over, even if it meant delaying your wedding? Email us at: Blog@thefirstdance.com and tell us whether you have had to consider delaying or speeding up your wedding date for some important reason.

In honor of presidential weddings - whether you love or despise President Bush, you can get a wedding greeting from the White House. I think it is fun for posterity and have done it for my wedding and babies. https://app1.whitehouse.gov/greetings/wedding

How to Be an Expert In Everything

I'm reading through wedding magazines tonight (as an aside my heart skipped a beat when I saw a familiar swag bag on page 190 of Modern Bride this month -it was our swag bag from the Trendsetter award - valued at $856!!). The pressures couples face compared to our parents generation is amazing. Just a sampling of the subcategories with which you could easily buy a book, spend hours researching, and thousands of dollars to partake in:

Bodily issues:

• teeth whitening
• brow tinting or shaping
• hair... hair dos on the wedding, growing out your hair for the big day
• get contacts to avoid glasses on the big day (GUILTY of that one myself!)
• excersize to get tones. There are actual bridal-based workout programs to tone areas of your body like your arms, to show off in your bridal dress.
• nails, hands, feet
• makeup
• perfume style
• accessories

Floral - everything from type, scents, how you want them at the reception, at the ceremony, in your bouquet

Video and camera - wow, just an unreal number of choices, styles, packages to chose from

Bakery - the wedding cake, flavors, styles, frostings, colors

Paper - save the dates, stationary for thank yous, invitations - style, paper quality, font (you can now buy wedding font programs at the book store), programs, reception menu cards, table numbers, bridal shower invites

Favors - every type, size, style, cost, the sky is the limit in options

Music - style, type, length, dj or live, ceremony, meaning, type of instruments, when and where to play

Food - styles, flavors, how to serve, when to serve, what format (sit down /buffet)

Lighting is a new category and you can hire professionals


If you love event planning this is certaintly the be-all-end-all of events to plan in your life. But, if you are an average person, never in your entire life will you have such an event to plan logistically.... never will you have to come up with so many opinions and decisions around one day.

Then in EACH category with hundreds of decisions add in the opinions, impressions, attitudes, assumptions and emotions of EVERYONE IN YOUR LIFE.

I'm stressing myself out just thinking about it! I will share more about my own wedding as it relates to the above in a future blog.

We have a unique perspective here at The First Dance and I'm gathering my thoughts on how to incorporate articles, this blog, and a new blog that I'm moderating. I'll share the link within the week as it's a complete relaunch of a website.

Wedding stress advice

Vents about fiances, in laws, friends, anger over divorced parents making your life miserable, trying to please everyone and making nobody happy. There is endless fodder for discussion on this blog so please stick around.

I'm busy working on updating The First Dance to include a lot more useful resources, links, and advice beyond just our DVD and book, Take Back Your Wedding. Please Talk with us on http://www.thefirstdance.com/ to ask your questions, share your dilemas and ask what else you want to see.