Temptations and obsessions in wedding planning and beyond
I have been thinking a lot lately about how there are so many temptations in wedding planning that can cause great frustration. You maybe run into the most amazing wedding invitations, or go to a wedding and they have a photo booth and you just LOVED IT and really want one for your wedding....
but money is tight and you know it isn't necessary or a responsible financial decision...
but you really, really can't stop thinking about it. You begin the slow (or fast) process of justifying why you need it, want it, why it isn't that much of a waste of money, or take the "life is short, just do it!" approach.
How does your spouse-to-be handle temptations? Are you often on the same page or have the same process of rationalizing bad decisions?
Right now the big temptation for my husband and me are the coolest pairs of eye glasses that combined are about a mortgage payment! We fell completely in love with our respective glasses at this boutique shop and can't find anything remotely satisfying anywhere else. It is to the point I'd rather not get new glasses at all than "compromise" on a lesser pair than the ones I found. My justifications are that I've had my pair for 8 years, that I'll be doing extra consultations soon and can use that extra money for something I really want. My husband tries to justify that if he loves this pair so much that instead of buying glasses every 3 years or so (he wears them out fast!) that he can just get new lenses. The problem there are the lenses are really pricey, too, not just the frame.
We feel like we went shopping at a Lexus store and are now trying to find a Lexus-quality car at a Yugo shop! We regret ever going to the eye glass boutique store and wish we could just forget it.
Wedding planning can bring these feelings out in spades because you have the pressure of "THE once in a life time day" and the romantic notions around weddings. There is so much pressure to make it The perfect day and to reflect "your style"... even though most of us don't go around wearing tuxes and wedding dresses on a daily basis. : -)
One of the pieces of advice we got from my former bosses husband has stuck with us. During our wedding reception he highly encouraged us to go travel and have fun on our honeymoon. I believe it was in reference to a gorgeous china cabinet we wanted to get but was really expensive (we apparently have expensive taste in things, ugh!) He basically said that a fire can burn down your possessions but when you are up all night with two young children and life is wearing you down, you will always have those MEMORIES. It's the memories of experiences that lives on well beyond any furniture, or eye glasses, or "stuff". This is of course part of the way the wedding industry tries to sell us on the "stuff" of wedding planning, but sometimes, just sometimes, there is truth to it.
So what would make a memory and what is the unnecessary "stuff" you can say no to wedding planning to free yourself to make memories later with the money saved? Can you block the temptations that you know are not necessary to make a beatiful wedding? Can you move past the decision to have a less exciting....dress, food, music, because ultimately you are chosing to save money or to reduce your stress and time spent planning by being able to MOVE ON once a choice has been made?
but money is tight and you know it isn't necessary or a responsible financial decision...
but you really, really can't stop thinking about it. You begin the slow (or fast) process of justifying why you need it, want it, why it isn't that much of a waste of money, or take the "life is short, just do it!" approach.
How does your spouse-to-be handle temptations? Are you often on the same page or have the same process of rationalizing bad decisions?
Right now the big temptation for my husband and me are the coolest pairs of eye glasses that combined are about a mortgage payment! We fell completely in love with our respective glasses at this boutique shop and can't find anything remotely satisfying anywhere else. It is to the point I'd rather not get new glasses at all than "compromise" on a lesser pair than the ones I found. My justifications are that I've had my pair for 8 years, that I'll be doing extra consultations soon and can use that extra money for something I really want. My husband tries to justify that if he loves this pair so much that instead of buying glasses every 3 years or so (he wears them out fast!) that he can just get new lenses. The problem there are the lenses are really pricey, too, not just the frame.
We feel like we went shopping at a Lexus store and are now trying to find a Lexus-quality car at a Yugo shop! We regret ever going to the eye glass boutique store and wish we could just forget it.
Wedding planning can bring these feelings out in spades because you have the pressure of "THE once in a life time day" and the romantic notions around weddings. There is so much pressure to make it The perfect day and to reflect "your style"... even though most of us don't go around wearing tuxes and wedding dresses on a daily basis. : -)
One of the pieces of advice we got from my former bosses husband has stuck with us. During our wedding reception he highly encouraged us to go travel and have fun on our honeymoon. I believe it was in reference to a gorgeous china cabinet we wanted to get but was really expensive (we apparently have expensive taste in things, ugh!) He basically said that a fire can burn down your possessions but when you are up all night with two young children and life is wearing you down, you will always have those MEMORIES. It's the memories of experiences that lives on well beyond any furniture, or eye glasses, or "stuff". This is of course part of the way the wedding industry tries to sell us on the "stuff" of wedding planning, but sometimes, just sometimes, there is truth to it.
So what would make a memory and what is the unnecessary "stuff" you can say no to wedding planning to free yourself to make memories later with the money saved? Can you block the temptations that you know are not necessary to make a beatiful wedding? Can you move past the decision to have a less exciting....dress, food, music, because ultimately you are chosing to save money or to reduce your stress and time spent planning by being able to MOVE ON once a choice has been made?
Labels: money, temptations
posted by Elizabeth Doherty Thomas at
7:39 AM
<< Home